making the limelight, can be a lemon?

still staying true to the chronicles, i have to walk women through a moment in the life of the lime light.

now don't get me wrong, i'm all about the stage, and lights, camera, action...but, in business. hmmm! there is no class on balancing marriage and business in the "real" world. and the truth of the matter is...you will be tempted and put in some very compromising situations, when the can of whoop ass! isn't plan B anymore. there is nothing more sexy than watching your husband on a stage performing his "manly" duties of "The Provider". it's an awesome act of kindness, self sacrifice, etc.etc. when you have your own business, and you see you hubby working to make a future for your family and your children's future. but here's the deal, ladies...

strength!

a woman with a man in business or any power, or uniform power position...needs so much strength and self confidence, because, other woman who don't have that...want that. and will do anything to hurt your marriage, to to have a day in "your shoes". couple that with childhood insecurities that rear their ugly heads, when the opportunity arise, and when you least expect it, "bam!", your relationship is just put through "the TEST!"

plus, we, woman have to know that if you allow your man off the leash for to long, or turn around, in 1 second all hell can just break loose, if he is not properly trained, i mean that in the kindness way. seriously!.if the leash is to long, he can hang himself, or if you turn around at the wrong time, hungry predators, that come in all shapes and sizes, will try to lure him away...

for a kill.

and the smell of sweet success for another woman is...well, let's be honest...woman are a different breed. right? especially a driven woman. she will not stop, until she knows that she can get what she wants...at all cost!

with that said, i've been approached often about how great my husband is and how comfortable, he makes everyone feel and again, and again, how great he is!! and honestly, "i absolutely know!". also, if you look at the goals we set up prior to opening, customer service was and has always been our #1 priority. mi casa su casa, absolutely! did we want to set our place up to be a home away from home for our clients, you betcha'! but...all the marriage counseling and marriage retreats, would have never prepared a woman in business for what i am about to share:

i was approached by another woman that was pretty forward in asking me if she can invite my husband to her house for a "personal" house party to meet her "hollywood" friends and "by the way" maybe cook dinner. {rabbit+boiling water=?}then says to me, "since i've booked this event on a sunday night, i understand that it wouldn't be taking you {me} away from your kids all day, and you can spend the day with them while he {victor} comes over and enjoys the night with me and my friends, alone. are you ok with that? {looks at me} you wouldn't even have to pay for babysitting since it's on a weekend."

hmmm. i thought to myself, well, he's a grown man, "sure", i said, in the name of a business smile. if he's willing to take you up on the offer, that is entirely up to him. and that is the truth. luckily for me, we've been married long enough for him to know that, that entire scenario lifted "red flags" all over the place. we both laughed that night and said, "dude, is this an indecent proposal?" but, these are the winestyle chronicles, and i am giving you the wins and the loses, and i do have to toss this one up to one of our "wins"!


first of all, because our marriage is being tested and tempted everyday, and we are persevering through it with God in our marriage. and giving Him all the glory because we, as individual humans before, would not have handled these situations the way we do now. we, both, have come a long way. That's why, we both realized that no matter what it takes, we would not sacrifice our family time, nor our marriage for the sake of getting ahead. {greed}

if we are not making profit, money, or budget, we would always make time for those 2 priorities. you have to have faith that as long as we keep focus on God in our family and our marriage...He will allow us that time to glorify Him. our foundation is our family and our marriage, and we just can not rock the foundation that has allowed us to be here and sharing awesome moments with others that are just great people. so know that, even though we are in the limelight, things aren't always what they seem, but strength, faith, and prayer can get you through some crazy moments such as this one. i have to stay grounded knowing that if i would have given in to the temptation, chances are the outcome would have affected me and my family more than just my selfish high of sweeping the floor with this great woman's behind.

so when you ask me how i do it, or how do i stay so composed...remember, i breath and bleed just like everyone else. life is just like "turbo kickboxing", you can't get to comfortable because things can always change.

so with that said, you can not take each other for granted in a marriage, but one thing for sure always sign up for that marriage class, because it will save your relationship and keep you grounded when things get out of hand in your relationships.

no amount of money or fame is worth taking the the place of private quality time with the ones you love!!